To keep your budget in check, decide what detail is most important for you and your fiancé. If you are foodies, spend your largest chunk of cash on the best caterer or renting a room in the hottest restaurant. Have you dreamed of your wedding dress for your entire life? Well, get shopping! If oodles of flowers are more your style, then food and clothing can get a thrifty touch. Bottom line: resist giving equal footing to all details on your list.

Don’t forget the charm of a morning wedding, especially if your favorite reception site is already booked for an evening event on your special day. Consider a savory brunch with antique china plates, sunflowers on each table, and a good jazz band.

Resist changing into casual clothes for your reception, a trend now sweeping weddings everywhere. This is your day to be a princess— when else can you ever wear that beautiful gown again? This tip extends to your veil, too. Keep it on!

When your photographer swoops in for a shot of you and Aunt Margie, put down your wine glass or bottle of beer. Trust us, you’ll be glad you did when the proofs come back.

Ask one of your attendants in advance to pack an ”emergency bag” for the ladies’ dressing room. The bag should include safety pins, deodorant, tampons, headache medicine, breath mints, and hair spray.

Don’t ever, ever, ever include your registry information in the invitations (wedding or shower). There’s no other way to say this—it’s tacky. Curious guests will ask your mother, your sister, or search online at a place like weddingchannel.com.

Be prompt about writing thank you notes. Contrary to urban legend, you do not have a year to write your notes. Within a month of your special day, you should have stationery, stamps, and addresses ready to go. Sit down in a quiet space and write each gift giver a thoughtful, grateful note. There is no substitute for this. Write five at a time, or ten, and then drop that batch in the mail. Work through your list until you have properly thanked everyone. And just in case anyone is wondering: an email is not a thank you note!

Spend a lot of time with your guest list. This is a biggie: don’t try to throw it together in one sitting. Make your dream list and then, due to budget or space restraints, start to cut. Ask yourself, Why do I want this person at my big day? If the answer is “because I am afraid of snubbing her” or “I was invited to their wedding four years ago,” move them to the undecided list. Family members get top billing, of course, but if many of them live out of town and probably won’t make the trip, you can probably safely invite more people who will be in attendance. Final rule: ex-boyfriends and ex-girlfriends do not get an invite, no matter how good of friends you are now. Trust us on this, just don’t do it.

In the South, there’s always a hometown department store where brides register. Even though it’s probably part of a national chain, this store carries china, linen, and crystal. Register at the aforementioned local department store if you plan to get married in this town and the guest list is full of locals. Why? Many people like to see what they are buying. They like to touch your platinum-ringed china or unfold your butter yellow towels. Also, some people don’t like shopping online. Older guests may not know how to or distrust giving out their credit card information. If you have your heart set on registering at a trendy boutique that’s only available online or out-of-state, make that your second registry. You’ll help your guests help you.

Skip the little stuff; register for things that last. It’s always confusing to look up a bride’s registry online or in the store and she and her groom have registered for a board game. Or Swiffer refills. Ladies, when you are old and gray, your crystal goblets will be around. Refills of lavender soap (however lovely) will not. Don’t distract your guests by having them pick up stuff you could easily do on your next trip to Target. Flatware, crystal, china, linen table cloths, quality everyday china—these are the things that will last years, even generations.

It’s a well-known fact that most men don’t approach wedding planning like us ladies. When Jonathan and I were planning our wedding, I ran all the big details by him: place, time, guest list. But when it came to invitations, bridesmaid dresses, presents for my attendants—I went about my business knowing he wasn’t that interested. When to count him in: when it matters. What does your fiancé like? Is he a foodie? You’ll do well to turn the catering menu over to him. Jonathan is a composer and plays classical guitar. I told him that the music, from the organ to the professional guitarist we would hire, was in his hands. Scared to relinquish control of the Perfect Day? You’re marrying this man and getting ready to share all of life’s million details together. He can handle it.

Streamline your workload. People will ask, “Can I help?” Let them! There are plenty of things that a willing aunt or cousin or college roommate can do. If you are addressing invitations by hand, ask a friend who has pretty penmanship to come over on a Sunday afternoon for tea and addresses. Are you making favors for the table? An aunt can tie all the little bows you plan to attach to the gift. Is your best friend a whiz at graphic design? Ask her to design the cover for the mix CD you plan to give to guests with the happy couple’s favorite songs.

When you close your eyes, how do you see your wedding? Are there blooming flowers and sunny skies? Or is it holiday time and the church is decorated with candlelight and poinsettias? Although it’s fashionable to get married at 5 p.m or later, consider a morning wedding with mimosas and a brunch menu. Or a noon wedding with a scrumptious lunch and a jazz band. If travel isn’t an issue for most of your guests, consider another day besides Saturday for your wedding. Booked-up churches and reception sites suddenly become very available (and often cheaper!) if you get married on a Friday evening or Sunday afternoon.